Starting Out
by ParadoxicalOne
Summary: [GSR] Part 3 ... Sequel to 'Putting It Together'. This is a little glimpse into the starting of the relationship & how they're handling it.
1. Chapter 1

_Starting Out_

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_Disclaimer:_ Not now or ever will I have the money to own the show or characters identified. _CSI_ belongs to CBS...

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**Chapter 1**

Sara groaned peacefully rousing from her sleep. Her eyes were yet to open, but she could feel the sun going down. It was instinctual after all the years on night shift that she could feel her body coming alive as the darkness took over the town. Or was it the glitzy neon shine of the Las Vegas lights? Sara smiled preferring to believe it was the first.

That moment in between sleep and waking when everything is blurry. When reality meets fiction, and the line between them disappears. That one instant where there is no right or wrong, and if there is, there is no way to tell the difference.

After another groan, the ambiguity struck Sara like a punch in the gut. She tightly squinted her eyes together. Memories were flooding back into her sleep-clouded brain. Had everything been a dream? She willed herself to open her eyes, but fear held her back. Fear. Fear of knowing she was alone.

"Mmm..."

The stifled groan beside her sent shivers down Sara's spine. Her eyes flew open immediately wide in bewilderment. She literally flipped over in one tight fluid motion from lying on one side to the other. It was so instantaneous that the bed barely moved. Sara came face to face with a waking Grissom.

"You're–you're…_real_," was all Sara could mutter as she reached for his bearded cheek. The confusion and disbelief was evident in her eyes as she searched his face.

One eye opening at the most unusual greeting, Grissom looked skeptically at her. "Good morning to you, too." With a wry grin he added, "From cranky to perplexed after a full night's sleep. I do wonder what would happen on only a few short hours."

Sara's mouth hung open as the reality of him – Grissom – being in her bed struck her. His blue eyes twinkled even in the dim light of the room. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before Sara found her voice again.

Sara spewed the words faster than she could draw a breath, "Gris, I thought it was all a dream. But, you're here... Really here. And, I'm not alone. And–"

"Shhh. You talk too much. Come here," Grissom said with an outstretched arm.

Sara looked slightly taken aback. She eyed him skeptically this time, but her brain gave in to her heart since she wanted his touch more than anything. Sara slid over in the bed and was grateful for the sanctity of his arms. Relishing the closeness, Sara nuzzled nearer and slid her head up under his chin.

"I talk too much?" Sara asked finally.

"I'm not the only one that thinks it. You, yourself, have said it before."

Sara could feel him smiling. The happy feeling was contagious. She felt her heart heaving a heavy sigh and her pulse racing being with Grissom. Not just being with him, but being close to him. Close to him in her bed.

"We need to eat something and head to the lab, Sara," Grissom stated reluctantly. Sill holding onto her, Grissom felt Sara snuggle closer.

"For the first time ever in my career I've decided I want to call in sick," Sara mumbled into his chest.

Mock horror crept across Grissom's face. "I can't believe you said that." The look was quickly replaced with a genuinely regretful one. "That is by far the most scandalous piece of information I could have against you, and there's nothing I can do about it."

Sara sat up in bed and stared at him. She poked him once in the chest and put on a smile that could melt the polar icecaps. "Overtime just ranked itself higher than you on my list of favorite pass times."

Grissom just lay there and smiled back sweetly as she got out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom for a shower. As he listened to the water running, his mind wandered over memories of the years they had spent together. He marveled at how easy it was for her to accept him without question.

Six years flashed before his eyes. All the times she had been behind him, beside him, and yes, even in front of him a few times. She was the one constant that had grounded him, helped him, and lent him courage and hope. She had never known the impact she had had on his life. He had never been able to tell her, or even admit to himself how much he cared for that woman in the other room.

He did not deserve her. He knew it, and he felt it with ever fiber of his being. Through the good and the bad – everything he had done to her over the years – Sara had been there waiting for him. Patient and beautiful Sara had waited for him. Waited for him to decide the time was right and tell her.

The part that hurt the most was that he had not told her, and the words would be hard – if he could find them. He knew she needed them, even if she wound not admit it. He needed them just as much.

Interrupting his thoughts, Sara walked from the bathroom. She was wrapped in only a towel, and in that moment, Grissom could feel nothing more than comfort at her casual nature. Acceptance. Redemption.

"Sara..." Grissom was startled by even his own voice. He had no idea where it came from, and wished he could tuck it back away. His normally analytical mind was not working properly.

Sara stopped searching her closet briefly to turn around expectantly at him. In that moment looking at Grissom, Sara was unsure if she had actually heard him say her name. The look on his face was almost pained.

"Gris?" Sara asked reluctantly.

He only blinked at her. His mind was reeling of things he wanted and needed to say. He wanted to bear his soul to her. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him. He wanted to tell her how much he needed her. He wanted to tell her how much he needed her to need him as well.

All words were lost. Sara could see he was in pain. It was like she saw in his eyes all he needed to say. Her voice was soft, "The towels are under the sink." Sara went back to looking through her closet. "If we leave in an hour, we can stop and get some food before heading in to the lab. We can get some paperwork done before everyone else gets in, and I need to restock my kit, too."

Damn her. Grissom knew for sure now that he did not deserve her. She knew him so well that she gave him the out he was looking for. She knew he did not have the will or the way to say what needed to be said.

He pried himself from the bed and walked over to her quickly. Grissom stood behind her for a few seconds before touching her shoulders. That one single touch sent shivers through his body. It was not only the sensual nature of it, but the calming condition of it as well. He pulled strength from Sara – the strength that he needed to move on. Gently, Grissom slid his hands down her arms and kissed her shoulder before retreating to the bathroom for a shower.

Showered and dressed, Grissom strolled from the bedroom. Sara was pouring coffee into two cups when she looked up to catch his eye. A large smile spread across her face. His heart rocketed at the sight of her beautiful smile. The smile that made him get through each day. The smile that gave him hope when the worst case threatened to break him.

"Coffee?" she asked, thrusting a cup in his direction.

"Thanks," Grissom replied somberly, taking the cup from her hands. The shower had only given him more time to think about all the things he wanted to say. Staring blankly at the cup in his hand, he chewed those words over in his mind.

"You know, I do talk a lot. Too much sometimes, in fact. I think it's that I don't know what to say, and saying anything is better than nothing at all. Filling the emptiness with a useless creation of drivel just to make myself feel better at being part of something." She downed the last sip of her coffee and poured another cup.

This time it was Sara staring at her cup and wearing a nervous smile. "I guess it's just one of those nervous habits like people biting their nails. Looking for the right words and not finding them leaves a feeling of helplessness and utter lack of control."

They looked up over their cups, and their eyes met. Grissom blinked slowly at her. He knew she was making excuses for him not being able to talk to her. She did not want to push him, and even if she did, she would not have the right way to ask to make him understand. She had her words, and he had his silence, but neither had a way of explaining what they were thinking.

"Sara, you don't have trouble speaking your mind."

"You want more coffee before we go?" Sara finished hers and put the empty cup in the sink. Thankful for the reason to look away from him, and his eyes seemed to bore into her soul, Sara fidgeted in the sink for a moment.

"No. I'm fine," he replied absentmindedly as he finished what he had.

Sara took the cup from him and put it with hers in the sink. "Well, let's not be late to work. We'd never live that down." She made every effort to sound casual and even threw a small fake smile on her lips.

"Let's go in my car. No reason for us to both drive."

Sara was clearly startled at the comment. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"No, but right now, I don't want to be away from you, if even just for a small drive to the restaurant and then to work."

Her smile was genuine that time and very thankful for the sincerity in his voice.


	2. Chapter 2

_Starting Out

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_Disclaimer:_ Nope, not mine. Borrowed. _CSI_ belongs to CBS...

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**Chapter 2**

Ten hours into the shift, Sara was fighting with herself to concentrate. She willed herself to pay attention to the tire tread pieces on the table in front of her. It took every ounce of energy she had to not just toss them across the room. It was not so much the annoyance of not being able to solve the puzzle quickly, but it was the grumbling and clicking going on behind her.

Grissom and Sara sat back to back, he working at the computer and she sitting at the layout table. He was using a computer program in an attempt to recreate the crime scene. The tread marks had been photographed, but the program was supposed to make it easier than piecing pictures together. Almost every two or three minutes he was cursing at the computer.

"Damn it. This is useless."

"Gris, I can do that if there's something else you want to go work on."

"No, you're not getting out of separating the tread pieces that easily." The humor was evident in his voice, but Sara also knew he was serious. There was no way he would bring himself to separate tread pieces from about fifty tires and then basically recreate each tire separately.

Grissom groaned at the computer again and angrily hit the keys on the keyboard. Sara swiveled around in her chair and watched him intently for a moment. She frowned as she watched him about to completely lose his cool over a piece of machinery.

She shifted her chair directly behind his and straddled his chair, while she put an arm on each side of him so she could use the computer. At first, Grissom was taken aback and looked at her wearily. After a moment he realized she had her mind set on working on the program. She eased his hand off of the mouse and took it over and then did the same with the keyboard.

"Would you like me to move?" He asked hoping her answer was no.

"I'm enjoying myself right where you are," was her breathy reply into his back.

"Can you even see what you're doing?" He shifted nervously in his seat.

Sara was peeking up and over his shoulder working on the computer. "You should be more worried about what I'm doing to the program and not what I'm doing to you."

"That's easy for you to say when I'm not breathing on your neck and whispering sweet nothings in your ear."

"I'm not whispering, and they're not sweet nothings. I'm putting your crime scene together," Sara whispered into his ear with a smirk. "There," she replied matter-of-factly with the brightest twinkle in her eye.

Grissom looked intently at her and shook his head. When he looked back at the computer, he was in awe of what she had done in just a few moments time. Over half of the skid marks were drawn on the screen. He grunted at her and frowned playfully. "How did you do that?"

Sara spent the next 20 minutes showing him how everything worked. She put his hand back on the mouse and helped him draw one of the skid marks. He marveled in her touch and how the simplest thing was so sexy for her. Then, she put his hand back on the keyboard.

"I think it's your time to drive," she said with a wink and a smile that melted his heart. She kissed his shoulder blade lightly and pulled away letting her arms purposefully rub against him on the way.

After Sara had spun around and was working on the tire pieces some more, Grissom asked, "What would I do without you?"

Pursing her lips, Sara giggled without looking away from what she was doing. "I think you'd be forfeiting your next paycheck so the lab could get a new computer."

"That was a rhetorical question."

"You never ask a question without expecting an answer. And, if you don't like mine, then what's yours?"

Silence.

Sara waited a few minutes before asking, "You go to sleep back there, Gris?"

"Thinking," came his solemn reply.

"About?"

"My answer."

"Is it that hard?"

"I'd be lost," Grissom stated simply.

"With making an answer?"

"That was my answer."

Sara stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes opened wide. The statement hung in the air. Her eyes closed as she breathed deeply savoring that moment he opened a little piece of himself to her. The moment, however, was cut short when Greg came busting into the quiet of the room.

"I've done it again!" Greg almost shouted at them. His exuberance was evident not only in his voice, but in his bouncing from leg to leg as well.

Grissom's turn to wheel around in his chair wearing an uncertain look. "Done what, Greg?"

"I've brought the case home. Look at this," he said while thrusting papers towards Sara and Grissom.

Grissom studied the papers and pursed his lips for a moment, taking in every single word. Finally, Grissom looked up directly at Greg while jumping off of his chair. "I do believe, this time, that you actually did. Good job, Greg." With that, Grissom was almost sprinting from the room and down the hall.

Greg's smile quickly took over his entire face. Sara could not keep herself from smiling back at the youngest CSI. In that moment, seeing that pleasure on his face, she forgave him for interrupting Grissom's openness.

"Yeah! This calls for another cup of coffee," Greg exclaimed through almost clinched teeth as he jumped slightly off the ground and bounded down the hall.

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Four hours later, Grissom was sitting on Sara's couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table. Sara looked up at him from her position with her head resting on his leg. He smiled down at Sara, with his eyes crinkling in the corners just a bit. His heart was breaking looking at her and knowing he just could not force himself to open up to her.

Shivers ran down her spine as he stroked her side with his left hand while the arm was draped over her stomach. His right hand rested neatly against her head right above her ear. Every now and then Grissom would stroke her hair gently. It seemed like a peaceful eternity as they sat in silence.

Sara yawned lightly. It seemed to bring Grissom out of his trance. "Are you tired?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

"If I said no, could we stay like this the rest of the night?"

"We don't have to work tonight. We can sit like this all day tomorrow if you wish." The thought about their first day off together brought a smile to both of their lips.

Sara shut her eyes for a moment. It was then that she sensed the muscles in his leg tense a little. For a moment, Sara thought Grissom was going to get up. She opened her eyes, while internally pleading with him to just stay there.

Grissom opened his mouth to say something, but stopped before a sound came out. Finally coming to a conclusion that saying nothing was useless, he forced himself to speak.

"Sara..." He started as he had the night before, but this time he made himself continue, "There are so many things I want to tell you..."

"Gris, you don't–"

"Sara, so many things I _need_ to tell you. I just don't have the words that I need to be able to tell you properly."

"Gris, I understand." Sara reached up and touched his bearded cheek. "You've never had to say much to get your point across. Your eyes... they've always told me what you wouldn't let yourself feel."

The words stung Grissom deep in his soul. His arrogance at assuming he had kept his feelings hidden all those years was gone. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Sara stopped him with a finger to hips lips.

She continued, "The fact that _you_ stopped me from leaving Vegas this time. The fact that you're here with me now. It's your arms that're holding me... It's all I have ever wanted was to know that you cared, and I know that now." A nervous, shy smile crossed her lips. "For years I've been dreaming of you here with me, but I never really thought you'd let your guard down and let me in." Sara chuckled lightly from the nervousness. "I've got issues, Grissom... And, it scares me that you know them because–because you might look at me differently. You never did, though... You never said anything about them... You were just there when I needed you to be."

"Acceptance, Sara. That's all you have ever given me." Grissom's mouth twitched slightly, "Well, not _all_ you've given me, but it was always there."

Silence engulfed the pair again. Sara's eyes began to droop as tiredness was sweeping over them. Grissom reluctantly admitted to himself that it was time to call it a night and vowed to himself that tomorrow he would try talking to her again.

Grissom lifted her head slightly and slipped off of the couch. The grumble that Sara let out amused him mildly as he took her hand to pull her off the couch as well. He knew all too well how stubborn she was going to be about going to bed and readied himself for what he knew was going to follow.

"Want coffee?" she asked while heading for the kitchenette.

"Sleep, Sara." The sound of his voice, and the way he said her name gave her goose bumps.

She turned around to protest some more, but was stopped by the look in his eyes. Her sigh was only half-hearted as she scrunched her face in mock annoyance and walked towards the bedroom.

Again, Sara threw herself on the bed like she had the morning before. Grissom smiled pleasantly as he changed his clothes and sat on the bed next to her. "You hate sleeping, don't you?" he asked softly.

"I hate a lot of things," Sara answered, "And, yes, sleep is one of them."

"We'll take a short nap and then find something to do during what's left of the daylight," Grissom said as he rubbed her back delicately.

Sara looked up at him. Exhaustion was evident on her beautiful face as she spoke quietly, "Hold me, Gris. Hold me and make everything else in the world disappear... Please."

Scooping her up in his arms, Grissom laid down on the bed. Sara's head rested on his chest as he stroked her hair. Sara clutched his waist and held on as if she were drowning. The arm on her back held her tight as the tears started flowing.

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Four hours later, basking in the early afternoon sun, Sara awoke to find herself alone in bed. The first wave of panic broke out as she frantically searched the bed as if he was there and she was just unable to see him. Maybe that he was able to curl up under the pillow. Sara's mind was not able to fathom anything other than her fear of being alone.

Only when Sara heard his voice coming from the living room did she find a shred of calm inside herself. Her sigh of relief shook her entire body. She marveled at how different it was in just a few days time that she could not imagine life without him.

Being honest with herself, Sara knew it was not a new feeling. She had lived the past six years knowing that she would be able to see him every night and hoping for that one moment he spoke to her or looked at her in the way only Grissom could. Even not being with him, Sara felt close to him. It was not different, only deeper.

Now, being intimate with him made it harder to think about being without him. Sara wondered when she would wake up and it would all be gone. It just all felt too good to be true. And, she feared that Grissom himself would decide this just was something he did not want or need in his life and disappear into himself as he had done before.

Slowly, Sara peeled herself from the bed and walked into the living room. The sight of him sitting on her couch, casually talking on the phone with his feet on the coffee table made all of her fears melt away. She leaned against the door jam for a moment to savor the sweet look of his tousled hair and wrinkled shirt.

Grissom felt her presence, as he always did, and turned slightly on the couch. The smile on his lips brought a smile and blush to Sara's face. Momentarily, Grissom was caught off-guard and forgot he was on the phone.

"Huh?" he spoke absently into the phone, "Oh, um, I was, um, I got sidetracked. What were you saying? ... Yeah, you know how to handle them. ... Just keep them fed, and I'll be there tomorrow to take a look. ... No, just document it with pictures. ... You've done this before. Stop worrying. ... Yes, pictures and food. You got it." Grissom snapped his phone shut.

Sara raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me that an extremely dedicated, workaholic entomologist just passed up the chance to spend hours cataloguing minute pieces of data reflecting the timeline of a bug in the interest of science."

"He probably has more pressing issues on his mind," Grissom replied with a flirtatious glint in his eyes, "Now, get dressed. We've got places to be."


	3. Chapter 3

_Starting Out

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_Disclaimer:_ I'm only borrowing. _CSI_ belongs to CBS...

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**Chapter 3**

Sitting at Lake Mead in Grissom's arms was pure bliss. Grissom and Sara were sitting on the ground with him leaning against a tree. She sat between his legs leaning back into him with his arms around her and her hands covering his. They sat looking out over the water and watching the happy people passing by.

"This is spectacular, Grissom."

"I'm glad you like it." Grissom kissed her cheek. "I know it's not the way a couple of individuals who are dedicated to their careers would normally spend their day off, but I thought it might be a nice change of pace."

"I am just so happy to be here with you right now," she sighed.

"So, you're not missing your forensic journals and your scanner?" he mocked her.

Sara's face scrunched up in a grin, and Grissom got an elbow in the gut. Playfully, Grissom turned her quickly sideways and captured her hands with his own. Then, he captured her lips in a kiss so passionate Sara was breathless.

Their hands searched each other's bodies slowly. Grissom suddenly pulled away looking almost disturbed at what had just happened. As he looked into her eyes, Sara could almost see regret in his.

Grissom licked his lips and narrowed his eyes. "I think it's about time we had lunch." And, with that, he edged Sara off of his legs and up to her feet. He followed suit and looked regretfully at Sara for a brief moment.

Sara shook her head in the most minute gesture. She hoped that Grissom had not noticed, but being a great investigator, the motion was not lost on him. Words were still failing him.

"Sara, I'm sorry. You know very well that we can't be seen together... like that."

Sara sighed her resignation, "I know. It's not that, and you know it."

"What's wrong?"

"Just drop it. Let's enjoy the day."

Grissom took Sara by the shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. "No, Sara," he whispered, "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip. "It's the way you're treating it... _us_." She sighed. "You get close, and then you pull away. And, it's not just work, Gris. You don't trust me."

"I trust you implicitly."

"Then why do I feel that you don't?"

"Sara, for so long I've lived a very solitary life. It wasn't entirely intentional at first, but it seemed to make life... easier... less complex. ... I felt I had to give myself entirely to one thing in order to excel." He ran his hands from her shoulders gently down her arms, coming to a rest just above her elbows. "Over time, it was just easier to work and pretend I never felt I was missing something. I knew I was, but I was afraid. ... I am still afraid."

"What are you afraid of?"

Grissom felt as if he was watching someone else talking to Sara. He knew those could not be his words coming out of his mouth. They were what he wanted to say, but how was he having the courage to speak them?

"I'm afraid of being lost... and losing what matters most to me."

"I came to Vegas for you. All it took was one phone call, and I was here. I've been here for almost six years. I'm not going anywhere." Sara felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"I've almost lost you so many times. Every time I think about how short life is... Every time I think of how we risk our lives every day... Every time I think of how close we've both been to death... I fear losing you even more. That scares me, Sara." Grissom swallowed hard. "What if one day you wake up and realize how short life is and..." His voice trailed off unwilling to put his thoughts into words.

"...And I realize this isn't where I want to be?"

The sad look in his eyes told Sara she was right. Instinctively, Grissom dropped his head knowing Sara could see what he was thinking.

Sara continued, "I'm not going anywhere. You think I'm going to just wake up one day to realize that what I've wanted for the past six years of my life isn't what I wanted at all?" She bit back a chuckle. "You do realize that would be like saying..." Sara pursed her lips in a half smile. "DNA isn't individual to a person."

Grissom looked up at her. In that instant, he knew that she had known all along what he wanted and had just waited for him to admit it. He smiled and took her hand leading her to walk along the water.

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The diner was not very full with it being nine o'clock in the evening. It was an unusual time for most people to be having a meal, but then it is Vegas, and who knows what is normal there.

Grissom reached across the table and took Sara's hand. It was an extremely casual embrace, and it warmed her to no end with the ease at which he regarded her after the little conversation they had at Lake Mead. A slight blush crept across her face as she smiled and thought about going back to her apartment alone with him after dinner.

Their food was delivered, and they started eating happily talking about anything and everything except work. It was a new lease on life, and both of them were enjoying the break from the lonely routine they were used to.

Grissom hesitated as he was about to reach across the table again. Something made him feel as if they were being watched. Subtly scanning the room, he reached for the salt shaker in an attempt to look nonchalant. The spiky-haired kid on the other side of the room caught his eye and waved.

"Act very natural," Grissom whispered without moving his lips as he went back to eating his food.

"Huh?" Sara gasped as Greg threw himself into the booth beside Sara.

"Greg?" Sara sputtered, stunned, "What are you doing here?"

"Just came out for a quick bite to eat. You two look like you're having a good time." Greg eyed Grissom skeptically due to the slight look of distaste in his eyes.

"We were," Grissom replied offhandedly.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Greg asked innocently.

A cell phone rang interrupting the conversation. Sara had never been happier to hear a phone ring in her life. All three of them looked at each other and then down at their phones. Grissom winced as he realizes that it is his.

Greg looked questioningly at Grissom. "You going to get that?"

Displeased, Grissom plucked his phone from his belt and answered it, "Grissom."

"_Gil, Catherine. Sorry to bother you again, but I think I really need you to look at these bugs."_

"Catherine, we went over this earlier today."

"_I know we did, but I really think you need to look at them. You're the bug guy."_

"What exactly is the problem?"

"_I don't know a lot about bugs, but there's just something about these that don't look right."_

"Again, what exactly is the problem, Catherine?" Grissom sighed heavily.

"_Since I don't know a lot about them, I'm merely making an attempt at an educated guess. These aren't the right bugs I should be seeing on a body that's only been dead less than 12 hours."_

"What are they?"

"_I think one of them is one of those 'rug beetles.'"_

"Carpet beetle, you mean?"

"_Yeah, whatever you call it. Anyway, from the picture in the book, there's also one of those Silphid beetles."_

"Are you sure?"

"_Um..." Catherine scoffed. "No. That's why I'm calling you."_

"Alright, I'll be there in 20 minutes," Grissom replied dryly as he snapped the phone shut.

Grissom realized there was no easy way out of it. He could not tell Sara he wanted to see her later when he was done at the lab. It was also at that moment he realized that he had driven Sara and himself to the diner in his car. This was going to be one uncomfortable explanation.

Sara realized the transportation issue about the same time Grissom did. She furrowed her brow, but said nothing. Their eyes met for a second, and she briefly shook her head to wordlessly tell him not to worry about it.

Sara made an attempt at sounding casual. "Time to go play with bugs, huh?"

"Unfortunately, yes. We'll have to cut dinner short. I'm sorry," Grissom said as he rose from the table, "I'll see you at work tomorrow night."

Sara and Greg both called out to him at the same time, "Later, Grissom."

"What was that about?" Greg asked as Grissom disappeared through the door.

"What?" Sara asked, utterly confused.

"Well, not to be nosy, but you're at dinner with Grissom."

"And, now, I'm at dinner with you." She picked a fry up off of her plate and tossed it at him playfully.

Greg caught the fry after it hit him in the head, and ate it. "And, he didn't look very happy that I was here."

Sara forced a smile on her face. Hoping to play the entire thing off, she joked, "Well, one – when have you ever seen Grissom happy? And, two – why sit down and stay if you think you're not welcome?"

At that, Greg reached over and took more fries off of her plate. "Well, you looked like you needed rescuing. You know, I'm going for that knight in shining armor thing. Did it work?"

Sara actually laughed at that as she pulled out her wallet and put money on the table to pay the bill. "No, but you can take me home if you'd like. That might score you some bonus points."

"You didn't drive here?" came Greg's awkward question.

"Grissom and I bumped into each other while I was out running," Sara lied, "And he asked me if I was hungry. I didn't think I'd get stuck with the bill, though." She giggled for good measure as she and Greg left the diner.


	4. Chapter 4

_Starting Out _

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_Disclaimer:_ I'm filling a piggy bank, but I'm still broke enough not to own _CSI. CSI_ belongs to CBS...

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**Chapter 4**

At seven o'clock in the morning, Sara decided that it was time to get a few hours of sleep. At least a nap now, and if she needed it, a few hours more before she had to go in to work. Being up during the day had thrown her sleep pattern off.

She had been reading all night while wondering where Grissom was. A couple of times she had picked up her phone and started to call him. Knowing if he was at work and got a call from her it would not look good, she had hung up before hitting the send button.

A little worry crossed her mind as she thought about him going home and not calling her. She hoped he had not had time to rethink everything from the day and decide it had all been a mistake.

She replaced the worry with the thought that maybe he just went home after work and went to bed not wanting to wake her. Then, she worried about why he would not call her to say goodnight. The entire night was spent with her thoughts teetering back and forth between worry and rationalization.

The forensic book she had been reading did nothing to calm her troubled mind. She put the bookmark back in the same spot it had been when she started reading about five hours before. Sara knew she would have to reread everything because she had not absorbed a word of it.

After lying there for an hour, Sara heard a knock on her door. Sleep was fighting with her, and she was not sure it was really a knock at all. Listening harder and hearing it a second time, Sara rushed out of bed.

Seeing Grissom standing at her door caused a rush of relief to spread through her body. With that relief also came the guilt of doubting him for the previous ten hours. He gave her that tired smile as he walked past her into her apartment.

"I thought you went home," Sara said almost accusingly.

"I did," he replied with a yawn, "to get this, and I came straight over here." He held up the overnight bag in his hand for good measure.

"You worked all night? Poor thing."

"Yeah. Catherine had a bug-infested body that she couldn't explain. For the longest time, I couldn't explain it either. I'm assuming it got cross-contamination from another body." He yawned again. "There were no other bodies at the dump site. I did my part with the bugs and left."

"We need sleep. You can worry about those bugs later."

* * *

Many hours later, they awoke to the dying sounds of rush hour traffic with people finishing their trek home from their day at the office. It pleased Sara to no end that she did not get caught up in that traffic on a day-to-day basis. It was bad enough to get caught in it on the days she was forced to work a double.

Feeling Grissom shift slightly, Sara hugged him tightly and sighed into his chest. She was at utter peace with the world. The past few days felt surreal as Sara went over them in her mind.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Grissom cooed into her hair.

"Mmm..." Sara sighed contentedly.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"No. I slept... exquisitely."

Sara fidgeted restlessly with Grissom's T-shirt. She traced a finger across his stomach and let it fall to rest on his side. Hearing a faint and pleasured groan out of Grissom, Sara caressed his side with her arm.

At the sound of another groan, Sara slid her hand underneath his T-shirt. His skin was cool to the touch, but Sara could feel his body heat warming her hand instantly.

"Come here," Grissom mumbled into her hair as he pulled her on top of him.

He tugged at the bottom of her tank top as she rose to a kneeling position over his body. After the shirt was off, Sara leaned down on top of Grissom and pressed her lips onto his in a hungry passionate kiss. Grissom's hands searched her body eagerly.

The waistband on Sara's pajama bottoms offered little resistance to Grissom's fervent advances. He pushed them down and grabbed her hard against his body. Sara's own groans of pleasure spurred him on.

Effortlessly, Grissom rolled the two of them over so he was on top of her. He yanked her pants off in seconds, and his shirt followed in the same manner.

"Sara..." he murmured while fumbling with his pajama pants.

Sara helped him hurriedly out of the last remaining piece of clothing. Her nails dug into his back as he caressed her gentle skin. Grissom's lips left a trail of longing along her neck and shoulder.

The moment that had been postponed by the ringing phone not just a few days before was not easily forgotten. Grissom intertwined his fingers with hers and looked longingly in her eyes. His lips closed over hers as each part of their body was becoming one.

Sara arched up to meet his thrust into her body. She choked back the scream that almost escaped her lips. Spasms of pure pleasure ran rampant through her body as the grip of her fingers tightened around Grissom's.

Grissom released her lips to kiss her shoulder, her neck, her cheek, her ear. Biting her lip was barely keeping her screams at bay. Once Grissom found the sensitive part of her neck right at the base of her ear, Sara made no more attempt at control.

"Oh, God, Grissom!" Daylight was fading fast as the sun sank lower in the sky. "Yes, Gris." The sinking sun on the horizon gave way to brilliant hues of reds, purples, pinks, and blues. "Griiiissssooom..." The radiant colors started fading darker. "Grissom!" Darkness fell over the city of Las Vegas as the neon lights came out to play. "Oh, oh, oh, God, Grrrriiiiisssssoooommmmm..."

* * *

Sara stopped at the edge of the sidewalk leading to the door of the Crime Lab. Reaching the door, Grissom turned to his side, only to realize he was there alone. His hand on the door handle, he turned around to her.

"Are you coming to work tonight?"

"Gris..." Sara's face blushed. "They're going to know."

Grissom grinned at her, his blue eyes squinting in the dim light of the parking lot. "Only if you tell them."

She turned her head slightly away, feeling her face exploding in shades of red as a sense of warmth hit her. "Look at me–it's obvious. I don't have to tell them anything."

Walking back to her, Grissom could not contain his amusement. Then, in an effort to comfort her, he reached out and gently placed his hand on her arm. "Just think of the most grotesque decomp you've ever had to handle. Or think of your statistics and percentages."

A deep sigh, followed by placing one foot in front of the other, and Sara was through the door. Grissom held the door allowing her through first. Watching her walk in front of him was quite a thrill just knowing the shared moments of passion that had enveloped them not just a couple of hours earlier.

She ran off to find supplies to refill her kit. Mind-numbing as it was, Sara was completely lost in pouring print powder into her jar. Her mind kept returning to the feel of his hands, the pressure of his body, the light smell of his shampoo and soap…

"Yo, Sar, you do anything fun on your day off?" Warrick called out to her from the doorway.

Startled, Sara dumped the print powder all over her kit, the counter, and the floor. Her entire body jerked around to face Warrick. Her eyes searched his face wondering if there was any way he could know her thoughts.

"Little jumpy aren't you?" Warrick asked her.

"I–I–I just didn't hear you come in," Sara sputtered.

He held up a hand in defense. "Hey, I didn't mean to scare you. Just coming to refill my kit, too. But, looking at the mess, I might want to come back later." He gave her a hard look. "Seriously, are you okay?"

Sara willed herself to put thoughts of Grissom out of her mind. She had promised herself that their personal relationship would not interfere with work. Her mind worked overtime to think up a logical excuse for her behavior.

"Just a little too much coffee before I came in tonight." A nervous smile played on her lips. "Guess I'll have to cut back unless I run into pulling a double."

"Guess so. Grissom's probably waiting on us. Hurry up," Warrick said as he turned to go.

"Grissom? He'd beat us to handing out assignments? Fat chance of that," Sara joked as she heard Warrick chuckling from the hall.

Sara left the mess in the storage room and headed to the breakroom. Sitting in a chair and pulling a magazine up in front of her, Sara looked relaxed. The attempt at magazine reading was short-lived as Grissom strolled into the room with a handful of assignments.

Not looking at anyone, Grissom droned, "Catherine, you and Warrick have a DB in a car at the Las Vegas Golf Club." He handed the paper to her. "Nick, you've got a trick roll at the MGM." One paper was handed to Nick. "Sara, you're taking Greg to a B&E on Paprika Way." He handed the last paper to Sara.

"Oooh, spicy!" Greg declared as he grabbed the paper out of Sara's hand.

No one moved from their seats. Grissom eyed them suspiciously. "Too much time off?" he addressed the group.

A collective sigh later, and most of the group was off their feet. Sara, however, continued staring blankly at her magazine. Her eyes moved up to meet his over the top of it. Alone in the breakroom, Sara sat the magazine down and walked around the table.

Grissom's eyes followed her. Gingerly, Sara ran a finger from his shoulder to his elbow. In barely a whisper she said, "Authoritative works really well for you."

* * *

Absorbed in the folder he was holding, Grissom never saw the brunette walk up and stand in his doorway. That had long been her small step into his life. It was the little way she found she could step into his personal space without stepping too far. Sara could watch him – ponder what he was thinking, scrutinize the way he held a pen, and see the intensity with which he analyzed the most minute detail. She loved the way he was so absorbed that she could sneak a peak at him like that.

Feeling her presence near him, Grissom looked up over the folder. He had long taken for granted the way she would stand in the doorway. Every time he least expected it she was there in the doorway watching. He loved the way she leaned into the door frame so casually with her arms folded in front of her.

"Greg and I wrapped up the B&E just a few minutes ago."

Grissom peered over his glasses at her with a faint smile on his lips. "And...?"

"Why do you think there's an 'and?'"

"There's always an 'and,'" he said as he removed his glasses.

"I was wondering if there was anything I could help you with," she answered, "There's only about 30 minutes left of the shift."

Grissom pondered that for a moment, only to be interrupted by Bobby. "Boss, have you seen Warrick or Catherine? I've got the results back on their bullet..."

Grissom raised his eyebrow. "I haven't seen her in a while. What do you have, Bobby?"

He hesitated for a moment. "It's, uh..."

"Bobby, what are the results on the bullet?" Grissom was growing impatient.

Brushing past Sara, Bobby stepped into the office slowly and handed the report to Grissom. "The bullet matches another active case," he answered quietly.

With a long drawn out sigh, Grissom put his glasses back on. Scanning the paper only briefly, he looked up over the top of his glasses at Sara. "Sara, you said that B&E was wrapped up?"

"Yeah, I did. It is. Greg and I finished it about 15 minutes ago. Even the paperwork is done." She grew suspicious. "Why?"

"I think you need to go look over the evidence again."

Sara was outraged. "Grissom, we processed everything. I swear to you, we didn't leave anything out. The guy already admitted to it and was arrested."

"Did you notice anything else suspicious about him? Blood or GSR perhaps?"

Bobby looked a little nervous watching them converse. He was just the messenger, and did not want to get involved in an argument. Grissom saw the uneasiness in the man. "Thanks, Bobby. I'll make sure Catherine or Warrick get the results." Thankfully, Bobby eased from the room and returned back to ballistics safely.

"Blood? GSR?" Sara asked aghast.

"Yes, Sara. Did see or test for either?"

"Um... It's all in my report. There was neither on the suspect." Her appearance was shaky and agitated as she stepped further into the office. "You don't trust me? Look at the report. Ask Greg."

"Sara, I'm merely asking about what you found out."

Her voice raised a little and cracked angrily. "No, you were accusing me of not doing my job. You think having sex caused my brain to stop functioning?"

Grissom's voice held a note of warning as he spoke. "Sara, this is not the time or the place to be discussing that." He sighed and softened his voice before their conversation got out of control. "Sara, I am your supervisor, and I have to inquire about these things. If I didn't ask, I wouldn't be doing my job. Where's the report on the B&E?"

"Greg has it while he was putting the evidence in the vault. He should be here any minute." Her voice was still hinging on anger. "You weren't asking in a supervisory capacity. You were accusing me of not being competent at my job. I resent that you would even question–"

They were interrupted by a very exuberant Greg. "Hey, hey, just the two people I was looking for."

Grissom was having trouble controlling his temper with her at that moment. He spat at Greg, "If that is the B&E from this evening, give it to me."

Greg hesitated for a moment wondering what he had walked in on. Grissom was losing patience with the young man fast. "Greg... _Now_," he said with utter disdain.

With a quizzical look at Sara, Greg handed the report to Grissom. They watched as their supervisor started reading over the report thoroughly. The pursing of his lips and squinting of his eyes was enough to drive Sara over the edge.

She shot an apologetic look at Greg, turned to Grissom, and said, "I've had enough for one night. You've got the report. You can give all the information to Catherine when you turn the case over to her. I'm going home." With that she put one arm up in resignation and strode defiantly from the room.

Grissom called out after her, "Sara, come back here."

"Bye, Grissom. See you at shift tonight," she called coldly over her shoulder.

Grissom and Greg watched her disappear around the corner. Once they both knew she was gone for the day and not coming back, the silence in the room became deafening.

Grissom broke the silence. "Greg, find Catherine. She's primary on the DB at the golf course. You need to fill her in on everything about the B&E you and Sara covered this evening. Your two cases are now running together."


	5. Chapter 5

_Starting Out _

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* * *

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_Disclaimer: CSI_ is an awesome show to borrow, which is what I'm doing. _CSI_ belongs to CBS...

* * *

**Chapter 5**

After three hours of phone calls and waiting at her apartment, Grissom finally decided it was time to go back to his townhouse. He called one last time to her cell and left a message:

"Sara, it's Grissom. You're not at your apartment, and you're not answering your phone. We need to talk about this morning. Avoiding me isn't going to make it go away. Can you call me or something when you get this message...? I'll be at home."

* * *

Almost two hours later, Grissom head a knock on his door. Slowly he peeled himself from the couch and walked to the door. He knew who was on the other side, and he steeled himself for what was about to happen.

Only, when he opened the door he was not greeted with those beautiful chocolate eyes that haunted his dreams. Instead, Catherine stood there with her hands on her hips almost looking for an answer before she even asked a question.

"Hello, Catherine. What can I do for you?" he asked tiredly.

Without an invitation, Catherine walked into the townhouse. She eyed her surroundings before walking over to the couch and placed a hand on it for support. She turned to watch him follow her after shutting the door.

"We need to talk."

"Apparently so, otherwise you wouldn't be here. What's on your mind?"

Catherine looked him up and down taking in his appearance. He was tired and completely disheveled looking. His T-shirt and pajama pants were wrinkled which was mimicking the look of the rest of the townhouse. It was unlike Grissom to be unorganized. In fact, Catherine was beginning to believe Grissom had not been spending any time there in days.

"Sara."

Just uttering her name was enough to make Grissom wince slightly. "What about her?"

"Well, from what I understand, she left work early. On top of that she was the primary. I should have been talking to her instead of Greg. But, aside from that, her behavior recently has left a lot of things to be desired. She isn't on top of her game."

"Catherine..."

"No excuses, Gil," Catherine said furiously.

"We're all tired. We've worked a lot lately–"

"Bullshit. She just had a day off. And, even before that she was reckless. Ecklie was right about her. Why do you insist on defending her?"

"She's a good CSI, Catherine – a damn good one. She hasn't done anything wrong. There's nothing to reprimand her for."

"She was disrespectful."

"If she was, then it was at me, and I'll deal with it."

"It won't end there. She's been that way with a lot of people. Her attitude needs to be put in check. If you won't do it, someone is going to have to."

"What happened today was a direct result of something I said to Sara. Her reaction was not unexpected or unwarranted, no matter how inappropriate." He sighed his displeasure. "None of us are in any place to be casting stones."

"Except _you_?" Catherine was now fuming at the insinuation that she had no right to say anything about Sara.

He pursed his lips and sighed. This conversation was grating on his nerves. "No. Even me. I already told you I was the one that caused the outburst."

"Why do you continue to cover for her?"

"I'm not covering for anyone. I deal with situations in my own way."

"I want her out of the lab," Catherine demanded, her tone unwavering.

"Well, you do what you feel is right, but I won't let her go without a fight."

"Why, Gil? Seriously. You need to start paying more attention to what's going on around you." Catherine pointed directly at him. "She's going to be the downfall of your career."

Grissom said nothing. He knew there was nothing he could say to make Catherine understand. Even if there was, he was not going to tell her the truth. As far as the relationship between him and Sara was concerned, it was no one's business except his and Sara's.

He looked at her carelessly, which incensed her further. He almost smiled to himself musing that he now had both women that spent the most amount of time with him mad at him. If it was not for getting yelled at so much, he might have found it amusing.

"You're not listening, are you?" she asked pointedly.

Grissom's eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm listening. I'm just going to justify your accusations with a remark. If you came here to have a fight, you can keep it to yourself."

"I didn't come here to fight. I came here to... You know, I don't have any idea why I came here." Catherine shook her head.

His tone delicate yet firm, Grissom replied, "I appreciate your concern, but I refuse to suspend or fire Sara for her behavior. If you have a legitimate concern, you can take it up at the next meeting or file the appropriate paperwork."

With that said, he stalked across the room and started to get some coffee, leaving Catherine staring after him. It was now too late for him to think of sleeping. He was too worried about Sara and far too upset with Catherine. What he needed now was to just silence.

"You're just going to leave it at that? We've been through a lot together, and you're just going to dismiss my opinion? You think you can pretend that none of this is happening and it'll all just disappear?" Catherine scoffed. "It's not that easy."

Grissom turned to speak, but another knock on the door interrupted him. He was almost thankful for the knock because he was not sure he had an answer for her. Yet, he knew what the knock signified, and life was about to get a little more complex.

Another knock and Catherine asked, "Are you going to get that?"

He heaved a sigh that seemed to come from his toes and ambled towards the door. Hoping Catherine was staying in the kitchenette, he barely opened the door. Sara stood before him. Her red eyes told him she had been crying. His heart urged him to wrap her in his arms and hold her. His mind told him to tread carefully – Catherine was in the other room.

"I got your call... Well, calls," Sara said simply, "Can I come in and talk?"

"Sara," Grissom whispered, "Now is not a good time."

The whisper was useless because Catherine was standing close enough to hear him. As Sara saw something move, she noticed it was Catherine. Her eyes turned back to Grissom. Hurt and anguish took over her face.

"I'm sorry," Sara sputtered, "I–I shouldn't've come here." She turned to go. "I really am sorry. I'll–I'll see you later at work."

Catherine called out to Sara as she walked away, "You don't have to leave on my account, Sara." The mockery in her voice was sickeningly sweet.

"Get out, Catherine. I've had about enough of this. I want to be alone," Grissom said pointedly as he turned towards her, still holding the doorknob.

"Fine, but take the time to think about what I said."

She walked out proud of herself. Had she turned around, the death stare from Grissom's usually deep, understanding eyes would have stopped her in a heartbeat. The slight squint in one eye made him look devilish – almost like a pit bull ready to bite.

He slammed the door behind her and stormed off to reach his phone. He hit speed dial for Sara's number. When it went immediately to voice mail, he knew she had her phone off, and he cursed her.

His head in his hands, Grissom slumped onto the couch. His heart was breaking. Just a half of a day ago things in his life were looking damn near perfect. Now, everything was crashing in on him. He squeezed the bridge of his nose as he felt a migraine threatening to take over.

He called Sara again with the same result. Refusing to move from his spot, he sank lower into the couch. His fingers continued to hit the speed dial button on the phone after each unsuccessful attempt at reaching her.

The light rap on the door brought him out of his heartache. The pit bull had returned as he stalked across the room and flung the door open. He expected Catherine to be back with more accusations. This time he was ready for her, and he would not let her leave without listening to him, no matter how much damage it would do to him later.

Seeing Sara standing there, he closed his eyes. Relief flowed through him as he grabbed her in his arms and held her tight against his body. Her arms came around him as well, and she started crying again. She pressed her head hard into his neck as her sobs grew harder to contain.

He almost carried her into the townhouse and shut the door behind them. Together they walked over to the couch and sat down. Sara was still clinging to him as he soothed her hair and her back.

"I'm so sorry I blew up at you at work, but–" Sara started to say.

"I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean for it to come out like it did. I know you didn't do anything wrong. You're a great CSI, and I never should've questioned you on something you had no idea about..."

"Gris, I know you didn't mean it. I just..."

"I know. This is going to be tough," he reassured her, "but somehow, we're going to get through it. I need to think before I say some things to you – to everyone, actually. You know I'm not good with people."

"I shouldn't've walked out like I did. I hope Catherine's case is okay. It is, isn't it?"

Grissom laughed in spite of the situation. "Always thinking about work." He held her face out for him to look into her eyes. "Yes, the case is okay. Greg stayed and filled her in and they worked it out together."

"Oh, God, did anyone hear what I said?" Distress finally caught up with her.

"I don't think so."

"I never should've said that. I'm sorry."

"Shhh. We both just need to think about things before we say them. The last thing we can do right now is let anyone know about us."

Now it was Sara's turn to chuckle. The tears stopped as she had a sly grin on her face. "_Us_? I like the sound of that."

"I do, too, sweetheart. I do, too," Grissom spoke softly as he hugged her against tightly.

He kissed her forehead lightly and ran his finger through her hair. Her shampoo and close presence were threatening to make him forget they needed to sleep as his hands caressed her body softly. Sara had one more question to ask him before she gave herself over to him that afternoon.

"Gris, why was Catherine here?" The words came out almost muffled against his neck.

His body tensed up. In one respect, he wanted to tell her that it was none of her business because he should be able to have people in his life. Another part of him wanted him to tell her the truth. Yet another idea was that he should just tell her that she was there to talk about the case. His choice now was to figure out which one would not make the situation worse.

"I guess you don't want to talk about it," Sara said resignedly.

"Sara, it's difficult to explain..." After a long pause and a small sigh, Grissom decided that he would compromise on what he told her, giving her only some of the truth as to why Catherine had been at his house. "...She came over to talk about the case... and to ask me why it was Greg she talked to rather than you."

"Gris... are we at a point where you feel you don't want to or can't tell me the truth?"

Grissom shut his eyes and sighed deeply that time. It was as if she could see into his soul or read his mind. "Sara, it is the truth..." he lied, "Well, at least most of it. She came over to ask me why you left so suddenly. Apparently Greg told her we were having an argument, which sent her into hysterics because she thinks you shouldn't talk to authority like that."

"So, you're saying she came over here to complain about me."

"That's one way of looking at it. I'm sorry."

"We've already been over the 'I'm sorrys.' I suppose she wants me fired. Her and Ecklie make a great team. She's not always looking for a reason – like he is – but when she gets the opportunity, she takes advantage of it."

"Yes, Sara, she wants me at the very least to suspend you. She said she's going to talk to Ecklie and make a formal report of your behavior as of late. You know I'm not going to let it happen... Well, I can't stop the report if there is one, but I'm not going to let them railroad you over this."

"Thank you for telling me," Sara said genuinely with a sheepish smile, "I guess I should be heading home to get a little sleep before work. Ironically, leaving early gave me about the same time to sleep as when I work a double."

"Stay with me today, Sara."

Grissom took her to his bed that afternoon. They made love and held each other for a long time before drifting off to sleep. The day had left them tired but also the need to hold on to each other for as long as possible – to relish in the closeness that no one else could ever understand.

* * *

The End

* * *

**A/N** – I offer a large thanks to those that reviewed _Putting It Together_. I hope this lives up to the same standards. 


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